I think I’m really pathetic to admit I was bullied online. In the real world I speak openly to everyone. I don’t have any enemies. So I suppose hitting resistance all those years ago came as a shock. I’ve never been a gossip. It doesn’t interest me and when people know this they don’t pull me into their battles. I don’t take sides. I draw my own opinion.
So to be misunderstood on social media was frustrating. When I look back, it had a cycle. I would wake each morning, feeling very depressed by it. Look at the source, then instead of planning how I would make ends meet, I instead thought about ways to defend myself. I am proud, as not once did I tell anyone how bad things were. Not even my children.
I believe if we have a problem with someone we should speak face to face and then it’s no longer a problem. But with online attacks, you can’t do that. So it never stops. There’s never an opportunity to nip it in the bud.
When I look back I think it’s all really childish and I feel sad I let it beat me and earning a living. It nearly killed me. It wasn’t the situation but more the force behind it. In a face to face situation, they’d not have a chance, because I tell the truth. I will never understand how any person would want to attack someone who had lost her home, livelihood and self confidence. I would never do that. My quotes, sentiment and battles would transpire through the work of them. And nobody knew except me. It was as though they were stealing my soul. On reflection, I think they wanted to make me go away. A volunteer, a fundraiser, campaigner. How could that offend anyone? But it does. And, the most unlikely. There’s some funny folk out there who are not as they seem.
In turn, it’s allowed me to set up groups and seek people out who feel voiceless. That’s why I spent my time on Twitter helping people who may be feeling the same way I did. It put me off ‘celebrity’ for a while. I was scornful at the whole subject. But I’ve since realised it was one person and his shadow. That everyone is ‘indeed’ very lovely and helpful. I am as great as the next person. If not greater. I endorse that. But for a while, I felt worthless and that was only due to statistics.
I hope the future is not going to be built on shares and likes as that’s not art. It makes people feel excluded and insignificant. We all need to help each other up. It can even save a life!
Quietly Quirky ©